Temperature check: forty one degrees Celsius. I have contracted the worst case of Ryan Gosling fever. Knowing me as only B does, I guess it is only understandable that he would feel a pang. I have a tendency to lose sleep over film and book characters. And when I develop an obsession for someone who actually exists, though clearly out of my league, it scares him a little. I go through an indefinite stage of madness. (Sounds like an exaggeration until you witness it first hand, lol.) And so it has been for this past month. It started when I watched Blue Valentine. I feel like my heart just got torn into so many broken pieces and they were taped back together all wrong. So as a way to erase from my memory that image of Dean (Ryan's character) at the bathroom looking coyly at Cindy taking a shower, I had to watch a comedy movie. For no special reason other than that it is the most recent non-heavy film I have heard of, I chose Crazy, Stupid, Love. I was dumbfounded that it would be another encounter with him. My heart jumped after a fleeting close up of his face, with an expression that so resembled B's. I doubled back and had to convince myself that his shoulders are not wide enough for someone his height. And that his face has a longish quality that you don't normally associate with good-looking men. Of course you know what happened next. So by now, I had to be crazy not to do my research. I watched Drive and was pretty amazed that someone can have so many tricks up his sleeve. The Notebook. Lars and the Real Girl. Half Nelson. Ides of March. Fracture. And most jaw-dropping of all, The Believer. I am a sucker for depth in a human being and it is at once intoxicating and exasperating to be drawn to a Hollywood celebrity, of all people. Shucks, I sound like a school girl at the dawn of a new love. But darn, how exquisite it is to be reawakened!
